Why You’re Single in NYC

212Access April 29, 2013 Comments Off on Why You’re Single in NYC

Why You’re Single in NYC

By Stacy Liberatore

Stacy Liberatore, working the bar.

New York City is all about cycles. People move in and out, depending on where they are in life.

When you first move to the city, we are young, wild and free.  It’s all about going out, mingling, and being single.

But as we get older, our way of thinking starts to change. Friends begin dropping like flies, settling into relationships and moving into the next phase of life.  Of course, there is always that one guy or girl who stays single. They’re they ones who show up at the Superbowl parties alone, looking for the next person to hook up with.

As a bartender, I see men grow out of their Peter Pan syndrome, leaving Never Never Land and settling down. But just as often, I see that one guy, talking to me at the bar on a Wednesday night, asking me why he is still single.”What am I doing wrong?” he asks.

Here is my list of 10-things that you might not realize are keeping you from having a relationship.


You are too shallow

We are all guilty of being shallow- men and women, but men seem to take it to another level. I’m sure you have seen more attractive women with less attractive men. They learned the secret that relationships are more than just some arm candy. You might lose Miss Right if you keep focusing on her silly flaws.

You’re too independent

Being single does have its perks. You don’t have to wait an extra hour for your date to get ready, you don’t have to share the remote. You can leave the toilet seat up. But be careful about being too independent or you may get stuck in your own ways and in our late 20s women don’t have the energy to play the “I can change him” game.

The too afraid

Believe it or not, men are just as afraid of putting all their eggs in one basket in fear of getting hurt. Put your big boy pants on and travel the road less taken- the relationship highway. It’s okay if you get your heart broken. She may be worth the risk if you give it a shot.

You’re wearing Ed Hardy

I know this isn’t a fashion story but if you’re popping your collar, wearing bedazzled T-shirts, just got a spray tan, and your eye-brows are nicer than mine, you might be a douchebag.  Some women like the jersey shore look, but this is NYC, so turn it down a few notches. You’re not going to get into a relationship in NYC if you look like you’re from AC.

You’re getting desperate

You got her number but you’ve sent her five text messages and its only noon. Yes, it actually does happen because I’ve heard women at the bar talk about it. Relax a little. Women like a little chase too. If you reek of desperation, women will be able to tell with their sixth sense.

You’re too shy

There comes a time when you have to man up and take what you want. If you have some one in mind don’t just sit on the side lines, get in there and run the play. You don’t want to be a bench warmer your whole life, right?

You’re selfish

We learned that sharing is caring in kindergarten.  If you only think of yourself then that’s good, someone has to because you’re going to be spending a lot of alone time with yourself.  To us size does matter, a big heart goes a long way with us.

You’re friends are jerks

You are the company you keep. Unless you plan on living with them and being frat boys your whole life, you may want to venture out and make new friends. If you’re friends are jerks, you’re going to have a difficult time convincing a female friend to tag alone.

You’re too sexy for your shirt

If it takes you longer than your date to get ready then you have an issue we like to call coincide ness. It’s very common among males in their 20s but can be treated by, getting over yourself.

You’re a pervert

If Stifler from American Pie is your idol, then we know why you’re single. Classy women don’t want to be looked at like they are a piece of meat. We also don’t want to be talked to like we’re the help in the kitchen. Show her some respect. And clearing your Internet history in your browser won’t hurt either. That’s right. We’re onto you and you know exactly what I mean.