Why Technology Ruined Dating in NYC

212Access January 17, 2013 Comments Off on Why Technology Ruined Dating in NYC

By Stacy Liberatore

The days of walking to the door with flowers in-hand to meet your date are over.  Being wined and dined has become something of the past. Dating now consists of happy hours, a late drink at the pub, a cup of coffee, everything – but romance and dance.

In the NYC dating scene, it seems guys don’t want to go to dinner anymore to learn about a new love interest. Instead, they’re using Facebook and online dating profiles to learn about us women. Why ask what’s your favorite food or best childhood memory when it’s all posted online.

We are a generation of fast paced, on the go, money making, social media connoisseurs. We spend our time posting, tweeting, and instagraming as a way to let the world know who we are and what we’re all about.

What does technology have to do with dating? Everything! It has transformed what we knew about dating, to what we really consider dating- hookups and hang outs. My generation has been robbed of its mystery, romance and surprise.

Online dating sites throw you into a pool of hundreds of singles who are all on their own safari trip.

Technology has made it too easy to meet someone. You can meet, flirt, and plan a get together while you’re laying in your bed, dressed in pajamas. You can “wink” or “poke” 50 different people in a just under a minute, which is slowly killing the term “commitment”.  No matter who you may find while surfing the web you will always be able to find someone hotter, smarter, funnier, or just altogether better with one simple click of the mouse or tap of a finger.

The first communication between two people who meet online aren’t spoken words, they are just letters. Texting is a major form of communication in our society. I am just as guilty of this. I cringe when I see my phone ring. I’d rather type a way all day, then stop what I’m doing to have a conversation.  At any given restaurant you can witness the ordinary dating ritual.  A couple sitting across from each other, neither of them are talking, both texting, emailing, or who knows, playing angry birds.

As a bartender, I get an inside and outside view of the single scene in NYC.

I hear all of the dating gripes, how women say you can talk to their guy all day through texting, but when they’re together they have nothing to say to each other.

When men have a night cap at my bar after a first date, I always asked them the same question, “Where did you go for dinner?” And I usually get the same answer, “I don’t do dinner for first dates.” When they ask this, they sound as if I insulted them, like it was an obvious answer.

After hearing the same answer numerous times, my curiosity led me to ask, “Why?” It’s always the same answer, “I don’t want to invest the time or money into anything new.”

That’s what technology has done to dating for my generation. Technology has turned romance into an effortless, lackadaisical, meaningless “thing”. There’s too much texting and not enough dates, smaller expectations and lowered standards, unromantic speech, too many fish swimming around in the same pond, and knowing too much too soon.

No one even wants to pick up the phone anymore. It has become acceptable to shoot her a text saying, “Sup. Whatcha doing?”

Shakespeare is rolling over in his grave right now.