What do Emails Reveal? Everything in Online Dating
By: Logan Davis
Wouldn’t it be great if you could read a woman’s email and discover who she was before you even met her? Imagine the time you would save on wasted online dates if you knew from a woman’s punctuation, vocabulary or even her grammar whether she was worth meeting in person.
Every single New Yorker gets 20/20 hindsight after their first encounter. If you’re like me, that inner dialogue probably went something like this:
Next time, I am going to pay more attention to the size of her arms in her pictures – or – Next time, I will pay more attention to whether she uses your and you’re in the proper tense.
I have gone on enough online dates to realize that you can actually read through a woman’s personality if you read deep into her email. Her writing, words, punctuation, even her attitude can come across via email if you pay enough attention. Here is how you can identify the boring chick, the crazy chick, the sex addict, the gold digger chick and the fun chick just by reading their emails. Hopefully, this will save you some time and money when it comes to online dating.
The Boring Chick
Punctuation matters in grammar school, and in the world of online dating, it has even more value. I recently went out with a chick who started her email to me like this, “Dear Logan:” Seriously, you are going to use a colon as an introduction? In elementary school, you get extra credit for using this punctuation, but in real life, you lose points. And she didn’t just start her email like that once. We exchanged three emails and she started every email to me with the exact same punctual address. Any woman who is a grammarian with her punctuation, you can assume is boring. I gave this woman the benefit of the doubt because she looked pretty in her pictures. I was wrong. I should have paid attention to the size of her arms in her pictures, which would have suggested she was overweight with a pretty face. If you get an email from a single woman who is a stickler with her punctuation, assume she is boring. Any woman who is so focused on the exact punctuation probably has no excitement going on in her life.
The Crazy Chick
The crazy chick will write you an email that has no coherent thought. She will ramble on about life, work, God and her apartment all in the same paragraph and she writes likes she speaks and it’s a gigantic run-on sentence if you read a girl’s email and her thoughts seem scattered, you should safely assume that in real life she will also be a scatter brain.
The Sex Addict
The sex addict drops innuendo in everything, including the first email interaction. For most guys, it sounds like you hit the jackpot. What guy doesn’t want to date a sex addict? You read her first email and assume she is into you. As a guy, warning another guy, be careful. This is the chick who is bat crazy. Sex can make a lot of people go crazy right? Sleep with this woman once, and you are potentially super glued to a crazy nut. Be careful in approaching this woman. Sure, quick sex sounds like fun but when the first 10-minutes are over, you will begin to wish you never met this woman.
The Gold Digger
This is the easy chick to identify. You really don’t even have to email this chick to identify her on Plenty of Fish. Oh wait, actually, this chick won’t be on the free dating sites, so forget that. She’ll be on the more expensive EHarmoney, uh, EHarmony.com. This gold digger will find a way to sprinkle in exclusive bars and restaurants into her profile. The dumb gold diggers will be more overt, like “how about we go to the 21 Club and drink martinis.” But don’t underestimate guys. If you are unlucky enough to exchange emails with this woman, her note to you will reveal even more about her intentions. She will drop status in her emails and request to meet at locations that would appear in the modern version of Sex in the City. If you decide to go out with a chick like this, make sure your Visa is no where near its limit.
The Fun Chick
This is actually the cool chick you want to keep hanging out with. The problem with most guys is that we don’t give this woman a chance based on her pictures. I’ve actually gone on enough dates that I accidentally gave the fun chick a chance without realizing that she was actually giving me a chance. The fun chick is — well fun. You can do anything with her – a sports bar, museum, baseball game, shopping and she makes it fun. She also knows how to talk. The problem with these women is that most guys don’t see it in her initial email. The fun chick writes an email that reveals insight into her life. There are sprinkles of what she did and who she did it with. The challenge for dumb guys is weeding out the fakes. Lots of single women will do a head fake and lead you to believe they are fun based on their weekend activities. Usually, the only way to discover the fun chick is to meet her in person and see for yourself if she is authentic. If you find this chick, don’t let her go. You will never be bored with the fun chick and if she is hot, you will be admired by every other guy and girl. She’s also the fun chick who is not afraid to show up at the beach in a one piece.