The Formula for NYC Relationships

212Access September 22, 2013 Comments Off on The Formula for NYC Relationships

The Formula for NYC Relationships

By: Scott Hyatt

They always taught me in Algebra that X + X = 2X. (Not as I used to write in high school X + X = Y). Tonight, I discovered a new equation for relationships in New York City. It goes something like this: X + X = 0

So I told you last week how I ran into an X at a bar exactly one week ago. (Click here if you need to catch up on that story).A few friends emailed me asking if the story was true.

Of course it’s true. You don’t need to make up stuff in New York. It just happens, if you let yourself go (or put yourself in those situations).

Anyways, it was kind of hard getting over that Xperience of running into an X you care deeply about, but I found a new way to get over it.

You bring another X into the equation.

Yes, I did it.

I texted a different X this evening and asked her if she had any plans tonight.

I kept my text very vague because as I learned from a previous 212 Access article there is a proper way to text.

I followed those rules in my text message and kept it short.

“How is life?”

You don’t want to volunteer too much information in that first text to an X because you don’t know what is going on in her life. She may be in the middle of an argument or at the end of passionate love making. That’s why you just want to drop a little piece of bread on the floor and see what happens.

In her case, she texted right back.

She responsed in less than 30 seconds.

“Average. U wanna grab a drink sometime? No hanky panky! Just business ;-)”

As a writer, you learn to read into words, sentences, characters, even emoticons.

Everything has value.

Accountants may look to numbers for value, but writers look to expression.

I knew immediately after that text I needed to invade some personal space.

“I would like to get a drink tonight. U free?”

And that was it.

We ended up meeting up earlier this evening, but I have to be honest, I did it because I needed to get over the value of another X.

X + X = 0

Which brings me to my NYC equation on relationships (and feel free to use this equation as your own enterprise as long as you forward this article to 20 of your closest friends or post it on your fb page).

Sometimes you need an X to get over another X.

I know, I know, it’s not always healthy. Or at least that’s what Dr. Phil tells me on Channel 7, but is it really unhealthy?

I mean Dr. Phil lives in Chicago and not to disparage Chicagoians, but life outside of New York City is different.

Love.

Life.

Sex.

Money.

Everything is different here.

My favorite writer, EB White expressed it best in his book, Here is New York: this city is not Spokane multiplied by 20.

No, New York is its own foreign country. You can’t compare the buildings here to anywhere else, just like you can’t compare the people to other cities. New Yorkers might have an attitude that annoys you, but that is what makes this City so Gr8.

X + X = 0

Sometimes there isn’t a value behind an X unless it’s assigned a value that can help us grow and understand.

X + X = 0

Tonight, I learned that X + X = 0 (pain) as long as you don’t allow the original value to exceed a pain that is greater than (>) the original X.

So if you’re trying to figure out this complicated formula of NYC single living, maybe you should just go back to your high school algebraic class and start reapplying those original formulas.

X + X = 0 (unless it’s < the original value).