By Desiree Hamuche
I have only lived in Manhattan for a month, but I am already seeing how this city is quickly changing me. That’s new to me.
I have lived my entire in Sao Paulo, Brazil and I never felt such a drastic change in such a short amount of time. I think New York City has already started to harden me. When you start to live among New Yorkers, you start to pick up pieces of their personality. I am now picking up many New Yorkers habits and I’m not sure if that is good or bad.
I feel like I am always in a rush. Even in my down pleasure time, I can’t feel 100-percent pleasure. It’s hard to enjoy the moment and forget about everything else in this City.
It’s not like that in Brazil. In Sao Paulo, we take our time and enjoy the simple pleasures like dinner. In New York City, we don’t waste time on long dinners unless it is a time spent with friends. And even then, it’s still in the back of your mind that you need to hurry up and get out.
Here’s another thing that is different about New York when you compare it to other cities. New York is like a person. In other places, like Sao Paulo, it’s just places. Those cities have no feelings and they don’t ignite emotions. New York gives you a feeling without feeling emotional.
New York also teaches you how to be by yourself. You learn how to become comfortable in solitude. It’s not that you’re lonely, like you’re suffering or in pain. It’s a different kind of solitude. You don’t feel like you need somebody to feel happy. You no longer depend on someone. You realize you can do it on your own.
The time alone in New York City forces you to reflect whether you want to or not. That reflection allows you to see how things that were a big deal – are suddenly not a big deal. Being alone was a big deal to me when I lived in Sao Paulo because I was always surrounded by friends and family. Here, I don’t have them and you see, it’s not a big deal.
My Mother asked me the other day, “you don’t miss us?” I love my family but I don’t miss them. It’s like a weird relationship with this city. New York consumes your mind and time in a way that family does.
Every person should experience this feeling at least once in her life. It’s an emotion that is hard to put into words. It’s just something that you feel. Do you want to feel this? If you do, be careful with your move to New York City. The exploration within yourself may reveal new things you never even knew about yourself.