By Dan Fitzsimmons
New York City is a lot like Friends and Sex and the City. Sure, our friends may not be as good looking as Monica or Rachel and our girlfriends are not as fashionable as Carrie and Samantha, but at our roots, we all need friends like our famous sitcom relatives.
If you’re thinking about moving to NYC, you are going to discover quickly that Manhattan is a lonely place at its root. We are surrounded by millions of people, yet we feel alone crossing the streets. If you have already moved to NYC, admit it, the days can be tough and the nights tougher.
Don’t get me wrong, I love NYC and I love my friends but when we’re not at the bars getting drunk, there can be a sense of emptiness. This is why all New Yorkers needs a special group of friends for the occasion, especially when the holidays roll around. Back home in Pittsburgh, (where I am from) we have large families to fill the void. New Yorkers aren’t as fortunate. Most of us moved here alone with nothing but a dream and a past we wanted to leave behind.
In the 3 years I have lived in NYC, I have discovered there are friends every New Yorker needs and wants. After a few months of wrangling the bars by myself, I decided to find my ideal friends in the City. I went looking for new people and along the way, I discovered six types of people every New Yorker must keep for company. Here they are.
The Wingman – New Yorkers love to drink but we don’t want to drink alone. A wingman helps you through these moments. If you’re looking for a wingman friend, make sure you pick a guy or girl who is expressive because there is nothing more boring than going out with a buddy who never talks.
The Therapist – We all need an ear but unfortunately, this writing gig doesn’t provide health insurance, so I must find new ways to heal my mental wounds. We all have them – don’t deny it. If you’re looking for a therapist, make sure you find a friend who doesn’t like to talk but who is good at listening. It helps if she has some training in psychology or likes to read Paulo Coelho books.
The Sex Partner – I am not advocating wreckless sex but everyone has needs and urges. It’s nice to know there is a woman or man to help you through these slumps. I have found there is something about these sexual connections that helps fill the voids Manhattan frequently brings. If you do find a sex partner friend, make sure you are honest along the way. You don’t want to lead her to believe that it is a relationship if it is just sex.
The Lawyer – You don’t necessarily need someone who passed the bar though it does help, but every New Yorker needs to have a friend who has logic. These analytical skills will come in handy when you are thinking of leaving your stable job that you hate to open up a trendy bar in an up-and-coming neighborhood in the Bronx. The lawyer friend usually has real lawyer friends, so if you ever need to kick around a new idea, you are usually only separated by two degrees in NYC.
The Loyal Friend – It’s not easy to find a loyal friend in the City when convenience is considered a virtue. I learned the best way to find a loyal friend was to be a loyal friend. When Hurricane Sandy hit, a few of my friends in Hoboken found themselves without power and electricity. I opened up my home to them and along the way, we developed a stronger bond. I have no doubt that they will open their doors to me the next time Manhattan loses power.
The Expressive Drunk or Pothead – I do not do drugs and I don’t drink that often but it’s funny hanging out with pot heads or drunks. It’s also ocassionally fun to watch your friends get blizted and to join in their parade. This is yet another way to bond – over stories. If you’re looking for these kinds of friends, just stay at the bar and keep drinking. You will find them.