Overheard at the Bar: What Women Say

212Access February 22, 2013 Comments Off on Overheard at the Bar: What Women Say

Overheard at the Bar: What Women Say

By Stacy Liberatore

If you’re a straight guy, pretty much everything in life revolves around women. It’s why you go to the bars. To meet single women.

Women don’t work like that. We really don’t need men, even though we like them at certain times. 🙂

I get it. Women are complex and hard to understand. As a woman, I won’t disagree. There are a lot of days I don’t get myself. Don’t you wish you could read a woman’s mind? I can’t help you with that, but I can help you single guys get some insight into the female brain.
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At least once a week, I have a few ladies stop in my bar for a girls night out. While drinking their Cosmo and Dirty Martinis, I hear them say, “I wish guys knew…. that.” “Why don’t guys know….. this.” Well here are 15 of the most common secrets I hear women say to other girls when they are tipsy and waiting for you to move. You can thank me later.

We don’t always judge a book by its cover: Ever walk by a couple and notice the guy is a 4 and the girl is a 10? Believe it or not we do care about other things than just your looks, your car, and bank account. A guy with a great sense of humor and a big heart goes far with us.

You know what happens when you assume: We’re not Miss Cleo, we can’t read your minds.  We need you to tell us how you feel, what you think, and what you want. We will over think, over analyze,and discuss every detail with our friends about our relationship. So please save us, and everyone, the trouble and just tells us.

Foreplay is not overrated: We enjoy getting revved up before we cross over to the finish line.

Don’t waste our time: Most women are looking for their “soul mate,” not just a “play mate”. If you don’t think we could be anything more, tell us nicely so we can move on.  Here, honesty is the best policy.

We don’t want to date a Chia Pet: When you take your shirt off and we think you’re still wearing a sweater, it’s time to grab the clippers. We go through the trouble of being silky smooth, so do us the same courtesy and trim it up. All of it.

Your pants should not be tighter than ours: If you can’t fit your phone, wallet, a pack of gum, and Chap-stick in your pants you need to return them, now!

Chivalry shouldn’t be dead: We know our life isn’t the Notebook but a little romance wouldn’t kill you. Hold the door everyone once in awhile, open the car door, or even surprise us with flowers. We will always return the favor.

Nice guys don’t always finish last: We do like the “rebel without a cause” type, but we hope deep down he’s a nice guy. The James Dean look catches our attention, but it’s your softer side that makes us stay.

Don’t leave us hanging: If you said you’re going to call, then call.  If we don’t hear from  you our mind starts to think of the most craziest things: Maybe his phone died, maybe something happened to him, or maybe he was kidnapped by ninjas. Our mind is a very mysterious, wondrous,and terrifying place.

Pay attention when you’re with us: If we’re together, then make us feel like it. Put down the iPhone or game controller so nobody gets hurt.

If you can’t perform we think it’s us: No matter what she says or how much you reassure her, if you can’t “pitch a tent” she will think you’re not attracted to her. There’s no making her think otherwise.

Not just fishing for compliments: When we ask you how we look, we  really want your opinion, and “fine” isn’t an acceptable answer.  Use more adjectives, you know, those words we were taught in English class?

We don’t want to date a doormat: If you let us walk all over you, we will.  Make us proud and stand your ground with us.  We’ll be more impressed than upset.

Choose your words wisely: If you value your life, never ever tell us we are overreacting, emotional, or being sensitive.  To you it may be we’re overreacting, to us it’s called passion.

Never stop chasing us:  All of the little things make the biggest difference, a soft caress, an expected gift, a touch of your hand, saying something sweet,  they only make us love you more. Don’t ever think you don’t have to whoo us just because you have us.

And here is a picture of a hot chick because deep inside, we all know you really just want to look at this. It’s okay. You can ogle, just don’t disrespect us in the process.