Making or Breaking Hearts

212Access August 2, 2015 Comments Off on Making or Breaking Hearts

 

There’s a lot of crazy single men and women in New York. The debate will continue on whether the City makes everyone crazy or whether the bright lights actually attract the crazies, but either way, every single New Yorker will one day have to face the music and end a bad relationship.

Picking the ideal spot for a breakup can make a huge difference in how the jaded lover reacts to the crumbling news. It could also help you walk away unscathed and potentially improve your chances with some of your ex’s other single hot friends. That’s why you never want to end a relationship in a place that will bring humility to the lost soul.

Here’s a list of the Top-10 places in New York for Breakups, compiled by some of the City’s best heartbreakers. This list comes from both women and men, on both sides of the break-up, along with a list of reasons why they thought these spots were ideal for breaking hearts. As told in their own words:

 

1: Central Park, specifically Sheeps Meadow

“There is nothing worse than breaking up with a girl when other people are listening. I learned the hard way that you don’t ever want to break up with a girl over brunch because every other person within ear shot will be listening to the entire conversation. We’re New Yorkers. We eavesdrop for sport. This is why you never want to break up with a girl in a spot where her tears will be seen by others and your words will be heard by strangers. Sheeps Meadow is a good place to drop the bomb because no one will be close enough to hear what you have to say. And if she breaks down and starts crying, she’ll likely be wearing sunglasses to hide the tears.”

– Jake, 29 years old

 

2: Sunday Brunch at Bagatelle (in Meatpacking)

“I like to break up with guys over Sunday brunch because it gives him time to recover. Bagatelle in Meatpacking is a great spot because it gets louder as the afternoon wears off. For those who haven’t been here, the place turns into a party scene on Sunday afternoons, so if you time it right, you can leave the boy when he is drunk off champagne and surrounded by other drunk women. The good looking crowd will also help him realize there are lots of other hot girls in this City that are just as willing to take care of him as I did when he was new to the scene.”

Sarah, 27 years old

 

3: Cellar 58 in the East Village

“This wine bar offers enough privacy to break the bad news to anyone. The large wine selection can also make any heartache disappear. Every guy I’ve ever broken up with has heard the news here and every time they seem caught off-guard. I think guys aren’t expecting to get dumped at a romantic scene, which I guess gives any girl the edge. The wine menu is also affordably priced, so if we split the bill, I’m not going to get clobbered with a tab full of overpriced drinks. Oh, it’s also a good looking, young East Village crowd – something that can help every pretty girl forget the heartbreaks of love.”

Andrea, 32 years old

 

4: Century 21 in Lower Manhattan

“There’s absolutely nothing romantic at Century 21, but I broke up with my last girlfriend here and it ended well. Made me think this is a good place to break off future relationships. We were in the luggage area downstairs when she tried getting me to buy a matching set (of suitcases). I told her what I thought. ‘I don’t think that’s a wise move. Do you really think we can survive another vacation?’ From there, the breakup began. It ended nicely. We were able to communicate about all of our problems, perhaps because it was so spontaneous and neither of us was giving it any thought, thanks to our surroundings.”

Jeremy, 35 years old


5: Cafe Lalo in the Upper West Side

“You never want to completely linger, following a break-up. This coffee shop is perfect because the waitress will quickly push you out the door. There’s always a line here to get a table, so break-up as soon as you order. By the time the food comes, she’ll be realizing what happened. When the check comes, you have just enough time to express why it didn’t work and the waitress will give you a legitimate excuse to take the conversation outside. Just don’t go to a second place. End it there, by the door.”

Scott, 43 years old

 

6: United Nations

“This is not a joke. My best break-up happened on a United Nations tour. I really thought this girl would go berserk. She threatened to kill herself once before and I didn’t want to worry about her threatening me again in public. Security isn’t going to let anyone go crazy inside the UN. If she seems like she’s got a screw loose, break the news on a United Nations tour.”

Ken, 31 years old

 

7: McDonalds in Times Square

“Have you ever been to this restaurant, uh, eating place after 10pm on a weekend night? It’s, how do I say this without sounding so elitist? It’s full of the lowest common denominator. The guy I was dating was really good looking but he was just not on the same social level as me. I mean the fact that he wanted to eat at McDonalds after watching a Broadway show – enough said. I think this was a great spot because there is no way you can back out after going here. Once I saw him eating a double cheeseburger after a Broadway show, it was very easy to say adios and walk away for good.”

Kim, 38 years old

 

8: 79th Street and Columbus

“It doesn’t have to be my subway stop but it’s easier to break off a relationship when you get off the subway. The built up tension just helps you express the anger better. I like the 72nd Street stop (1,2,3 Lines) and the 81st Street Stop (C Line) because there are lots of benches to sit down and talk without strangers listening in. It’s also close enough to get back on the subway and head home. I was on the receiving end of that bad news recently on 74th and Broadway (outside Fairway) on a bench, facing south. It wasn’t too bad because it was private enough for me to hear what she said but busy enough for us to not remember our best intimate moments.”

Mark, 37 years old

 

9: The Soho House

“You know this is a private club. I’m a member and I’ve broken up with a few girls here. It gives me the upper hand because they’re my guest. If they get possessive or start yelling, uh SEC-UR-ITY. And if she decides to get cling-on, I can walk her outside and then after she turns the corner, walk right back inside without fear of running into her again.”

Mario, 33 years old

 

10: 80th Street and Broadway

“There are benches along every street here in the middle of Broadway. It’s great because you can sit down and chat, but you’re never really comfortable enough to linger. Plus, I know the guy isn’t going to kill me in a public intersection. It’s an easy get away because you say it’s over, then leave the area.”

Pam, 37 years old