By Scott Hyatt
Remember when you were 9 years old and everything in the world was new? Why does everything have to change when we hit our 30s? Why can’t we continue to find novelty in the little things, like ice cream and jello?
I decided today to do something about that. I joined a summer share on Fire Island. For those 12 people in other countries reading this article, let me break down the lineage and hierarchy of NYC summer living.
First off, Manhattan pretty much shuts down in the summer. Thank God for tourists because if we didn’t have them to boost our economy in the summer, New York City would be just another Mexico City.
New Yorkers are known for being hard workers but here’s the hidden secret outsiders don’t know. We only work hard 9 months out of the year. The other 3 months we play around like kids on the playground without supervision.
But we don’t play in Manhattan. We head to this other island called Long Island, which actually has even more islands.
The Hamptons are usually the place where the young and inexperienced sow their seeds and plow the pastures.
Sex and the City will have you believe the Hamptons are full of gorgeous single millionaires who have nothing better to do than sip champagne and dance on tables, but that’s not really the way it works. Or at least that’s never how I experienced the Hamptons.
Sure, most share homes have 9 bedrooms but each room has four beds and you typically have to bring your own sheets and pillows. There’s nothing that says class like putting your 80-count sheets on a mattress that has sweat stains.
Last summer was likely my last year doing that. As my friend said last year, “there comes a time at band camp when you realize you are too old to keep coming back.”
I had that experience when I witnessed my best friend’s girlfriend kissing another girl and guy at the same time on the dance floor. Luckily, the guy wasn’t around to see it. (Bigger shocker: They are no longer together).
Fire Island will be a new experience for me. I hear this is the second phase of growing up in Manhattan. Most people graduate from the Hamptons to Fire Island after they hit the bottom.
Makes sense. Few athletes, politicians and actors ever leave the stage on top.
So I’m looking forward to this new phase of my life. Hopefully these characters on Fire Island will give me new stories to share with you.
Because everyone needs a little escape, a little more entertainment, even if it does come in the old fashioned method of the written word.