How to Kill a First Date

212Access August 4, 2015 1

How to Kill a First Date

By Stacy Liberatore

If you want to get a second date, you need to learn how to get past the first. As a bartender, I have observed many first dates from a distance and watched them crash and burn. As a New Yorker, I have also been on my fair share of disaster dates. Here’s a Top-10 list of things to do and not do to navigate that awkward first encounter.

This isn’t a cruise, leave your baggage at home: A great first date always revolves around great conversation but be careful in what you reveal. We all have our skeletons lurking in the closet, but that doesn’t mean you should reveal every negative flaw about your life.  Every girl wants a positive, happy-go-lucky guy; don’t let show us your dark side.

Going Dutch: Dinner is over and it’s time to get the bill.  If she’s a great girl, she will offer to split the bill, but any man with a brain knows she is just making a nice gesture.  If you actually take her up on the offer, consider that the only thing she will ever offer up to you. Women want to feel like you are making an investment in us, and your act of paying for our dinner lets us know (or believe) that you are making an investment in us.

Don’t be a Chatty Katty: A conversation consists of at least two people talking back and forth, sharing stories and information.  Stealing the spotlight the whole night won’t steal her heart. A conversation involves engagement. Make sure you are giving and taking.

1-2-3- you’re out!: She wants to be your date for the night, not your babysitter. Keep it at three drinks max- you’ll have a good buzz and you can still enjoy your time. After four, odds are you will get sloppy, so don’t push it.

Do you work on a ship: Unless your occupation is a sailor, you shouldn’t sound like one. Show us that you know a few more adjectives than words that start with S and F. Not saying you have to break out the big words just keep them clean.

“Ex” her out of the conversation: There is nothing worse to a woman than when you talk about your ex.  She never met her, has no desire to meet her so why would she care to know she even exists?  Talking about her gives off the idea you’re not over her and your girl might not even try for a second date. If you can’t stop talking about your ex maybe you should just get back together with her.

Texting, Facebooking, Tweeting or Talking on your cellphone: You’re on a date with her not 10 other people.  When a guy is on his phone the whole night it makes us think you’d rather be somewhere else.  If that’s not the case keep it on your pocket.

My name is Pinocchio: I have gone out with a lot of men named Pinocchio. They lie about their occupation, age, plans for the future, even whether they have kids.  Honesty is the best policy and eventually she will find out- we always find out, so just stick with the truth.

This isn’t the bedroom, it’s a date: Dating experts say women decide whether or not they want to sleep with a guy within minutes of meeting him. It’s true, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to tell you.  We want to show you that we can be a lady in the street; maybe down the road we’ll show you the freak in the sheets.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all: One of the biggest turn offs is when you’re rude to the server or anyone else around us.  How you treat others gives us a little picture of how you will treat us down the road.  Also, barking at other people tells us you’re arrogant and no women finds that attractive; if she does then you two are made for each other.