How to Fake It
by Stephanie Rios
Let’s be honest here. Women know how to fake it when it serves their purpose. Men might know more about sports, but when it comes to social sports, women are champions.
I know it’s stereotypical, but most women don’t like to watch baseball. Sure, some women like the sport but the majority of us would rather be sporting a Louis at the mall rather than sitting down for three hours at a baseball game.
But everything changes when a guy asks you to watch a game, especially if he’s cute. This is when we learn how to fake it.
“I love the Yankees, are you kidding?”
If you find yourself going to a baseball game, it’s a whole ‘nother ball game. You really do know more than the basics, which is Derek Jeter is cute in his uniform. You need to learn some small talk about baseball if you’re going to watch the Yankees game on a date. Unfortunately, I had to learn how to fake it, and here is what I learned from it. Hopefully they will score you some points and if all goes well will land you a second date!
1. Know the players. So many people say, “I love the Yankees” but then can only name Derek Jeter and A-Rod. You need to know at least a few other players to prove you’re a true fan. (Teixeira, Cano, Burnett). Do some homework before the game on the players and which positions they play.
2. Have a favorite player. This will show that you know the team and are involved. Have a reason for choosing your favorite player: a skill or talent they may have, a certain play at a specific game, good character, etc. Most people like Jeter and A-Rod but you can choose whoever sparks your interest.
3. Know the key players positions. This is key in “faking” your ability to be the Number 1 Yankees fan. You don’t want to be caught not knowing the obvious. Be sure you know that Teixeira is on first, Jeter is shortstop, Cano is on second, and A-Rod is third. Make sure you know whose pitching and catching that night too.
4. Catch up on past games. You need to know which player has the highest batting average or which pitcher has the leading amount of strikeouts. You might also want to be aware of any important plays that took place in previous games, especially if it’s a series.
5. Get into the rivalry. 2004 World Series winners, Fenway Park, Carlton Fisk, Big Papi(Ortiz). Mention any of these words and you will get any Yankee fan or Red Sox fan riled up. If you’re ever lucky enough to watch a heated Yankee vs. Red Sox argument, just use the 27 World Championships, Bucky Dent (1978 season), and the walk off home run to Aaron Boone in the 2003 ALCS to show them you know your stuff!
6. Keep up with the teams winning record for the season. This is probably the easiest. Before heading out to watch the game, check out the Yankee’s website or ESPN, it will give you the latest standings and you’ll look like a pro by throwing that out in conversation.
7. Know the basics. 3 strikes your out, 4 balls and you walk to first, 9 innings in a game unless a tie.
8. Read about the team. If you want to predict how the season will go, check out the other teams key players and standings. Learn which games will be easy to win and what games will be a challenge. You don’t need to be a devote statistical follower for that. You can find all of those answers on ESPN.com. http://espn.go.com/mlb/
9. Get some Talking Points: Baseball games can be long, which means you better have some talking material ready. If it’s a first date at Yankee Stadium, you’ll make it to the third inning before you will need to start thinking of some non-weather-related material. Here are some talking points that helped me make it to 9, in case you’re looking for a second date.
- Which position would you want to play?
- How would you spend $33 million dollars a year if you were A-Rod?
- Would you rather take-over a winning Yankees championship team or a losing Mets team where expectations are low?
- Why doesn’t baseball have cheerleaders?
- What would Babe Ruth think of the game today?