How to End a Bad First Date
By Jacquelyn Di Michelo
Every single New Yorker has been there, done that. Within minutes of meeting your first date, you realize there is no chemistry. HowAboutWe.com and Match.com can introduce us to some new people, but they never tell us how to get out of it.
So how do you get out of a bad first date when you realize she (or he) is not the one for you. You don’t want to come up with a generic excuse and you don’t want to announce it right on the person’s arrival. It’s probably also a bad idea to have someone call you 10-minutes into the date and say your Mom needs your help. If your excuse has been lampooned in the movies or on Saturday Night Live, you should probably avoid using it. Here is our compiled list from my girl and guy friends on how you can get out of that first date – while preserving the other person’s dignity.
I have to send out a Fed-Ex.
This is a good one, but you have to play the hand right on your arrival. Look frazzled and nervous, full of anxiety when you see the date. Tell him or her that your boss is mailing you a project and you need to print it out before the 7pm Fed-Ex pickup. Apologize profusely and ask him or her for forgiveness. This will give you enough time to figure out whether the person has substance behind the smile. And if your date is a late bloomer, and you decide he’s worth the time, then get an email a short time later that says the project doesn’t need to go out.
You don’t want to be with me.
If excuses aren’t your choice for getting out of a bad hand, then take matters into your own hand. Pretend you are crazy. Constantly talk about yourself, order lots of drinks, offer to take shots at dinner, and make sure you tell him everything about your ex-boyfriend and how you cheated on him. You can probably throw in how important money is to you and that you’re really looking for a guy to support you financially, in other words, you want a “sugar daddy,” not a companion. The date won’t last very long and even then you’ll have fun being out of character for the night.
I’m on call tonight.
If you’re in a profession like nursing or any other customer-service related profession, try pulling out the “I’m on call card.” But the key is to say you were called in right at the arrival and not 10-minutes into the date. If you tell the date, “I was on call this weekend and they called me in to work in an hour, I didn’t want to cancel last minute,” it gives your date the impression that you really did want to meet him. This not only shows you are a dedicated worker but you are a considerate person.
What are the odds?
This escape method takes some advanced planning. If you are not quite sure about your date, give a friend in the neighborhood a heads up. Tell her to walk by you and say, “Oh MY God. I can’t believe you are here.” Then introduce yourself and invite your “old” friend to sit with you. Explain how you went to high school together. After one drink, your friend asks if you want to go to a reunion to see your old friends. You can’t pass this up. Your new date will understand.
The Truth Hurts, but it Heals.
Sometimes honesty is the best policy. Although it is awkward for a few short moments it’s not the worst thing in the world to feel uncomfortable for 5 minutes instead of an entire evening. Tell him the truth, this isn’t what you expected, you aren’t interested, and you have made other plans for the evening. If you have a soft spot for rejecting people, explain how you want to set him up with another girlfriend. Explain why you think they will be perfect together. Then say goodbye and walk away without turning back.