Best Places when you’re Drunk

212Access August 22, 2012 2

How many times have you finished the night in a drunken state and thought, “that was the best bar ev er?” Everything always seems better when you’re wearing those rosy glasses at the end of the night. Even a McDonalds cheeseburger tastes like a gourmet bison burger at 4 in the morning.

The most expensive part of New York City is always the liquor. But what if you’re already plowed, you no longer need to worry about spending $19 on a Grey Goose cocktail. That’s why this new Top-10 List equals out the classes. If you’re already drunk, you can mingle with the elite without paying the price. If you thought these bars were outside your budget in the past, try them when your tank is already loaded.

I don’t think a lot of New Yorkers take advantage of that drunken state enough. Rather than exploring new places in the City, they instead return to the more familiar routines. I think that’s because nothing else comes to mind, so everyone agrees on returning to the past. But it shouldn’t be like that, which is why I realized (in my drunken state last night) that I need to have a top-10 list of places to visit in my most drunken state. I’m writing this out now, so I will know where to go next Friday night at 2am. So here it goes – the “Top-10 Places You Need to visit the next time you’re drunk at the end of the night.” (There is a legal clause – With many of these bars, you need to appear sober enough to make it past the doorman. However, if it’s a weeknight, the standards are lower). Good luck getting in.
Empire Hotel Rooftop in Midtown: There is something about this hotel bar that seems to bring out the seductress in every woman. Even guys can feel the surge in testosterone. Maybe it’s the association with Gossip Girl that makes everyone feel like they’re living the life, so why not take it to extremes. This is a great place to try if you’re looking for a medium energy crowd at the end of the night. The ratio of girls to guys in this place is typically 2:1 after midnight, which means if you are a guy, you have a pretty good chance of meeting a drunk girl.

Pravda in SOHO: The martinis and cocktails in this place are always strong, which means if you arrive later, you will likely be talking to a guy or girl who is blitzed. If you’re a girl, it won’t be long before he’s buying you more drinks. If you’re a guy, the pretty girls will always talk to you. This is a great place to go when you’re drunk because the lounge is a scene out of Moscow. It’s old school Russia mixed with new money. You’re guaranteed to enjoy this place if you have kind of people watching pulse in you. Of course, the doormen get stricter after midnight. It helps if you have girls with you. Unlike most NYC bars, even if Pravda is 90 percent women, the doormen still don’t have a problem letting in more women.

Griffin Nightclub in Meatpacking: Do you like to dance? This is your place. The DJs are always playing music that will bring you off the VIP couches and onto the floor. Griffin has a VIP feel to it, so even if you’re not, you can still experience the drama and entertainment that stars feel. Click here to watch a 212Access video of Griffin Nightclub on a Saturday Night.

Tortilla Flats in West Village – This bar is like the old Cheers where everyone knows your name after midnight. You have to love a bar where drunk women compete in hula hoop contests and the winner gets free shots. If you’re ending the night solo, and want to make new friends, stop by here.

Rodeo Bar in Murray Hill – Are you feeling old? This is not the place to end the night unless you’re feeling young. But after 2am, it doesn’t matter because everyone is in the same silly state of mind. This is a good bar to go to if you want to hit on young girls or meet extremely young guys who are still full of testosterone.

Cellar 58 in the East Village – This wine bar is a great place to end the night if you’re still in a drunken, talkative mood. Not sure what it is, but women love to end the night at wine bars, regardless of their relationship or drunken state. Have you ever been to a wine bar at 1am? It’s all women. So if you’re a guy, feeling outgoing with a little bit of talk still left in you, this is a great place to hit up. The crowd is still young enough to be alive after drinking wine at 2am. Click here to see pictures of Cellar 58.

Brother Jimmys in Union Square – Brother Jimmys is always packed, regardless of which neighborhood bar to visit, but the Union Square location is the best for that drunken state. No one really cares if you slightly slur your words. In fact, it might help you even get a number. Just don’t slur your words when you talk to the doorman, or else you will be treated like that distant cousin Jimmy that no one wants to talk to at Christmas.

Kiss and Fly in Meatpacking – This is another great nightclub that only gets better as the night progresses, so imagine what it’s like when you’re drunk. The doormen can be total, arrogant jerks, which makes me not want to write about them, but it is a fun place to end the night. Click here to watch a 212Access video on Kiss and Fly. Click here to watch a 212Access video on Kiss and Fly.

Marquee in Chelsea – This place has managed to stay open years after all other big box nightclubs closed and there is only one reason for it. This nightclub has become an icon in New York City. Bridge and Tunnel flock here and if you’re looking to dance off those toxins, this isn’t a bad spot to visit. Marquee is notorious for their weak drinks, but none of that matters if you’re already drunk when you enter.

Pianos in Lower East Side – The line to get into this bar is always long but after 3am it has some breathing room. Get inside, and you can hear some great live music up close. There are tons of bars with live music, but this place is stands out because the atmosphere is still intimate and that means you can meet strangers if you’re in a talkative drunken state. Just remember, the doormen at this place can be surprisingly selective, which is a shame because it is the Lower East Side.